went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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