he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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