I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
