In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
