I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
