im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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