i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
