id be glad to
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
