The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i will never coherently bang her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
