she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
