Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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