They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize