Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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