Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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