I wish life had little blips of pornography
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize