talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
