Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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