can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
