Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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