Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
