Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
