i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Watching her eat just hurts me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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