She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize