brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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