he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
