can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
