Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Someone shit on the floor
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
