Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
