We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
