do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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