your thong is hanging out like whoa
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
