I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
