I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
