She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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