help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
