your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
