i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
