just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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