Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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