I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
