Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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