so let's talk penis.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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