Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
