That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
