He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
