So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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