I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
