My first STD was from a foam party
dude i'm inner monologue high
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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