Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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