you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
