Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize