try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
