I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
