This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
