dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
