Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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