some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish you could order shots online.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
