Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
