So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
