Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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