You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize