Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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