Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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